the journals

God is so good to me. I am continually astounded by the good things that God does for me, and yet I see more and more of my failure to do His will. I have struggled this semester with my desire for school, and yet I have been much happier with all the wonderful changes that have come along with being married. Julie is wonderful, and I grow more in my delight for her everyday. Writing music again has also been so invigorating. I’ve also been encouraged to see myself mature. I have also grown to trust God more. But even after all these good things, I still feel a lack of direction. That clarity of purpose that I once had has faded, and I’m not sure why. I don’t like it–that’s for sure. I want to finish seminary, but my desire is little more than a basic motive to finish seminary. Numerous flames of passion have been put out by extinguishing disappointments. Julie has encouraged me continually about this, and for that I am grateful.

Whatever is the outcome, I will press on, and look to God. I must and will follow Him during this time of unsettledness.